Ouran High School Hoe Club
by Corrina198
Summary: Ok so, Haruhi get a call in the club one day with a WEIRD AND VULGAR ring tone. she has a job? and who was that on the motorcycle?
1. Chapter 1

_**THE OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOE CLUB! chapt. 1!**_

**Hey, so yes, im a newb writer, so be nice! or my self confidence will go OUT THE WINDOW! and then be hit by a car and crushed horribly.**

_NOTE!: IM a Horrible speller, and my program does NOT have a spell checker so don't have a hissy fit __if__ WHEN you find THOUSANDS of spelling errors!_

_as in every good fanfic. they will start off in OC mode, then be transformed as the story moves on to become OOC! MWAHAHA MY MINIONS_

_**"talking" "whispering" "SHOUTING"mostly 4 Tamaki {Little note thingys} (bracket-ish stuff?) :thoughts: ""TWinNEss"" numberS! Stuff I will tell U about the bottom **_

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"A C-? ARE YOU SURE YOUR OK? Do you have a fever {Adam Lambert is awsome!1)? Is there money troubles at home with Ranka? Do you have a DEEP DARK SECRET BOTHERING YOU THAT STOPS YOU FROM FOCUSING ON YOUR STUDIES?"

"No sesmpi. I'm fine. I don NOT have a fever, nor are there and money troubles at home. Unlike you rich bastards we manage just fine on an average income." Haruhi defended. " It was just a bad test Tamaki-sempai. Everyone is intitled to a fumble now and then. _God knows __you have one at least once a day."_

"I heard that! MOMMY! Our dauhter is being a meanie! We must dicipline her in her rebelious stage or it will only get worse as she grows up!"

""Tono-"" "Someone has to be the-" "Berer of bad news but-" "She's already almost-" ""All grown up."" The twins chanted as the synchronized a shoulder shrug inTamaki's direction.

"WHAT? Haruhi! Is it true! Has my little girl become a woman without us knowing? Tell daddy, HAVE YOU BECOME A WOMAN YET?"

"Please sempai, Just go entertain your self for a while. I will not have this conversation with you. Go have some cake with Hunny-sempai. I really need to pull my grades back up after that test, just let me study."

Tamaki sniffled at being thrown away by his daughter so he did as she asked sat down beside the mini third year with blue anime lines all around him.

As Hunny ate cake with a reluctant prince, he talked to Mori. Walking past the twins as they devised a plan to prank the boss with, Kyoya walked over to Haruhi ignoring her pissed mood. He leaned down over her shoulder and watched her study for a moment.

"Are you all right Haruhi? I might be wrong, but although you said you needed to study you seem to be doing nothing." A hopeful Tamaki perked up after hearing this wondering if he could play with his daughter now, looked over. Noticing one of his conversation partners had their attention elsewhere Hunny looked over. Mori followed suit.

"No, as I said before to Tamaki-sempa i, I'm fine. I..._just have a lot on my mind right now. _I won't get any studying done right now. I wonder if I shouold go home early now that school and the host club is over?..." As she trailed off thinking about what would make the best use of her time the twins danced over and grabbed an arm each. ""Oh but Haruhi, now that the clubs over and your not going to study-"" "you should help us out." "With your smarts-" "And our mischivious brains-" ""WE CAN PULL The BEST PRANK ON TONO EVER!"" As the twins laughed Tamaki cowered in the corner of the room fearing for his life. "You wouldn't REALLY do that to daddy would you Haruhi?" Tamaki said with a small smile made from a mix of hope and fear.

"No Tamaki-sempi, I would never do that to a family member-" Tamaki rushes over and glomps Haruhi. "But your not my father, thus not family so I just might" She stated with an emotionless face then took this moment of confusion fromTamaki to disentangle herself from him and the twins.

"So what are you going to do Haru-Chan? Do you want some CAKE! I would love it if you could stay and eat some cake with me and Takashi." Mori grunted in agreement.

"No i'm sorry Hunny-sempai, I think I will go home, I need to go do something...like spend time with my dad. And I DON'T mean you sempi-GET OFF ME!" She screamed as she struggled in her upper classmens arms. "Mori! MORI-SEMPAI! HELP ME!" she gasped as she was smuthered by her "father".

As the senior was about to rush over and save her, a phone rang in the room. The song it played went something like this,

Come on, everybody throw

your hands up in the air

Come on let's...

And you know, we keep the party jumpin'

So lets keep those 40s comin'

Come on down to the city of LA

Where we ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

You know how we keep it

bumpin' everyday, baby

We ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

Where I ride with jdog

And it's like, okay, basically

We get shitfaced and crazy

We're screaming

"FUCK THE POLICE!" (At this Mori quickly covered a wide eyed Hunny's ears and Tamaki jumped.)

J-just like easy lets smoke these

with Old'E and Charlie

We mix it over a heartbeat,

and run with the Undead Army!

And you don't need to see the best of me

The best MC, its just a beat, produce the feeds that makes me mean

That seems to be what makes me scream

So what up?

Let's roll the town fucked up! (Againg Tamaki jumped and Mori still had Hunny's ears covered.)

Let's sing LA and show love!

Yo JDOG, wait, just hold up

Take my mic, my PO showed up!

Come on down to the city of LA

Where we ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

You know how we keep it

bumpin' everyday, baby

We ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

We're six Caucasians, hell raisin'

Blazin', making zero pay

Can't wait to drink to stop the pain

To call Funny

To ride with me

My pants are so low,

I'm sippin' on this 4-0

Rollin' in the fo' do'

Producer, me, and four ho's

OH NO!

The 5-0's rollin' cold, I didn't stop, but tried to smoke

Container's open, Funny's smokin'

I think I'm chokin'

It's time to go (OH)

This midnight tale, let's keep it rollin'

Keep the fuckin and Mad Dog flowin' (Kyoya was now wondering why the song needed to swear so much, and Tamaki had already passed out from his ears bleeding.)

Los Angeles we keep it goin'

Undead is what we're throwin'

Come on down to the city of LA

Where we ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

You know how we keep it

bumpin' everyday, baby

We ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

I keep 'em blowin' on my

Head keeps gettin' fatter everyday, baby

On TV ya better listen 'cause

you know they'll play me

In the club, you in the corner

while my shit go crazy

And I got my soldiers in the back

so you don't wanna face me

And when your girl look up at me,

I'm lookin' right down

And all that yappin', you know

you gon' get a smack down

I stick around to keep it mad

while the crowd's loud

In the city of LA;

that's my hometown

Come on down to the city of LA

Where we ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

You know how we keep it

bumpin' everyday, baby

We ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

"I don't remember this ring-tone. One of our customers must have left one." Kyoya stated thinkin of the reward money that he may be able to aquire if he returned such an item. "We are NOT not looking for it, we dont want to know who would have such a ring tone" Said the twins as they revived there boss." "I'll help Kyo-chan! Let's go Takashi! Where would you hide if you were a telly phone?" Said an innocent senior who hadn't heard most of the song. "Hmm." "Thats right Takashi! Good idea, a good place to look would be in the cake store room!" He cheered as he jumped off towards the store room. "Hmm." Mori added.

"Hikaru, let me ask you something. How does Hunny understand him if all he does is grunt and say 'Yeah'?" The younger twin pondered."You know what? I have always wondered that myself." "In my opinion, I don't really think he does understand. He just ignores what Mori does say and goes off to find sweets while we are standing around wondering about what Mori says. After a while of being ignored, I think thats why Mori dosen't talk anymore. Because he knows it's futile to voice his opinion anymore." said Kyoya cooly as he pushed his glasses up his nose to make them glint in the sunlight coming through the window. The rest of the host club just stared in amasment at his logic. "Well, it seems as if we have cracked the code that is Hunny-sempai. For being so small, he sure is smart. Like the time at the water park and he wore that iner tube thing...but it did make him reallly cute." She said blushing at the thought of her adorable senior.

"Well I'm glade you think he's cute because I'm going to have to add everything he eats to your debt. Someone needs to pay off his appetite." Said the shadow king with another glint of his glasses. "ME? WHY ME! You Rich Bastards could-" "MOMMY! OUR HARUHI DARLING IS USING FOUL LANGUAGE AGAIN!" "Oh shut up Tamaki-sempai! I call you that all the time-" ""Tono's right Haruhi, a lady such as your self-"" "So for Hunny's sweets, and for scaring the president, that will raise you debt up to-" "Kyo-chan! The telly phones not in the store room! Tell them Takashi!" "Hmm." "See! He say's- " "TELL US THE TRUTH! We know your secret Hunny-" "I dont know what your talking about Tama-chan..." "Tamaki, I don't think you should confront him like that-" "Don't you trust me Tama-chan? *sniffle*" "Hmm." ""Tono's going to get him angry...""

Come on, everybody throw

your hands up in the air

Come on let's...

And you know, we keep the party jumpin'

So lets keep those 40s comin'

Come on down to the city of LA

Where we ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

You know how we keep it

bumpin' everyday, baby

We ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

"QUICK TAKASHI! I think its coming from the closet!" As he and his babysitter ran off to the front door. "I think I'm going home now..." Not wanting to deal with her crazy friends anymore. " KYO-CHAN! I found it! It was coming from this bag!" He said giving him a bag they had found in the closet. "" Hey, isn't that Haruhi's bag?"" They said as they wormed their way towards said bag and took it from the small boy. "Yes it is, now hand it over." She said with no emotion. Only now remembering what was in the bag. ""I don't think so Haruhi."" They said as they tore open their toys' bag and rumagged around inside of it. After a while of checking it-Haruhi having no say as she was heled back by the gentil giant known as Mori-they pulled out a small orange phone. "So your telly phone was the culprit Haru-chan." "I don't think so Hunny-sempai (Do they call him sempai?) this isn't the phone we bought her. Is it someone elses Haruhi?" "No Kaoru. It's my phone. I got a new one." "So what was wrong with the one we got you?" "Nothing, I stilll have it. That one's my work phone-" "Haruhi, do we need to remind you that-" "Before you finish Kyoya I want too say that yes. I got a permit to have a job. As I was saying, my boss gave me that one so that I would always have one on my that was charged up. It's what he uses to get in contact with me, he knows I'll answer." "That's nice Haruhi darling, but I have some questions for you. for starters WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL DADDY THAT YOU HAVE A JOB? AND "HE" GAVE YOU THE PHONE? YOU HAVE A BOY IN YOUR LIFE? IT'S TRUE MOMMY, OUR DAUGHTER HAS GROWN UP! SHE'S A WOMAN WITH STRANGE MEN IN HER LIFE-" "CALM DOWN SEMPAI! He's only my boss, there isn't much between us." "Haru-chan, you said there isn't MUCH. Does that mean this IS something between you two? Are you going to leave the host club? Do you hate us?" The older boy said with teary eyes. "I think its in your best interest if you let us meet him Haruhi. We don't want our toy to be hanging with a crazy person after all." _"I hang out with people like that every day..." _

Come on, everybody throw

your hands up in the air

Come on let's...

And you know, we keep the party jumpin'

So lets keep those 40s comin'

Come on down to the city of LA

Where we ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

You know how we keep it

bumpin' everyday, baby

We ride with gangsta's

and the pimpins' easy

"I think I'll take MY phone and answer it. It might be important. He only calls me if he needs me. I should stop by the place anyways." "I don't think so Haruhi. I, your father, will talk to this mystery man. Hukaru, hand it over please." "I'm not Hikaru, He's Hikaru." "No I'm not, your Hikaru, I'm Kaoru." "Well for one thing I know im not Hikaru, so you must be Hikaru." "No, I'm positive I'm Kaoru." "Then If you'r not Hikaru and I'm not Hikaru, then who is Hikaru?" "Tono's Hikaru." "I'm Hikaru?" "Yes, that makes scence. Now I must be Tamaki. Right Kaoru?" That's right." "wait...what? I don't get it..." Said a now COMPLETLY bewildered Tamaki. "What's not to get Hikaru?" "JUST GIVE ME, TAMAKI, THE CELL PHONE." Sure thing, here you go 'Tamaki'." He said handing it to Hikaru. "Why thank you Kaoru." " He's not Tamaki...is he? MOMMY! Do something. The devil's are being mean! WHO AM I?" He screamed as he went to his emo corner to grow mushrooms. "Hikaru, Kaoru. Give me the cell phone." Haruhi said threteningly. ""NOPE!"" Said the twins in sync. They then tryed to answer the phone."It looks like I need a password to answer this thing...Haruhi, what is it?" "Why would you need a password to answer your phone Haru-chan? Isn't that annoying?" "Hand it to me Hikaru, I'll see what I can do." Said Kyoya as he ran all of Haruhi's information through his laptop to look for possible passwords that would relate to her. "While Kyo-chans busy, Takashi has a question for you Haru-chan." "Why that ring tone?" He said blankly. For those in the room who wern't busy at the moment, they also looked over to hear the answer. "I've been wondering that as well. Why wwould my daughter have such a vulgar ring tone?" The rest of the room waited in anticipation. "It wasn't my choice. My boss knows that I don't like it. So if I hear it, he knows I'll answer right away so it will stop." There was a short but noticible silence, only broken by a signature Mori "Hmmm." "Well that dosn't sound like the type of personyou should hang around with Haruhi. As your father, I advise-" "Calm down sempai. I never said I liked him. It's really simple actually. I don't like him. We are only buisness partners, I owe him a great deal and am helping him in return. That's all, and no I won't be leaving the host club Hunny-sempai. I can juggle more than two things at once." She stated in a buisness tone, snatching away her phone from Kyoya and pushing a few of it's buttons.

"What is it Katsu?...What do you mean she cant make it? She has to, I've taken to many of her shifts. It's not in my contract...I hate the counter though. I like tto be 'behind the scenes' per say...I don't care if I'm being asked about. It's my life and those slobs DO NOT need to know anything other than my stage name, 'Chesty Sweet-thighs2' which you, oh so generusly bestowed upon me. Thanks by the way...Fine, I hate how you get me and use it against me like that...ok, I'll have my stuff ready by then. Tell him thanks for the ride."

As she shut her phone and turned around to gather her now ruined bag, the rest of the host club looked at her in shock. "Well well...so, can we call you Chesty Sweet-thighs to Haruhi?" "WHY DOES MY DAUGHTER HAVE SUCH A NICKNAME? MOMMY!" "relax everyone...I only use it so that one because my boss is to stingy to go and buy a new uniform and my name plate was the last girls and he dosn't want to buty another one. It also helps protect my identity because girls from my work have been know to be stalked. It's a safty precaution. Now I need to go because my friend is picking me up. There was an emergency and I need to go now."

By the time she finished saying this, she was done packing her books away. Before anyone could ask what the emergency was, she was out the door. The host club was too busy pondering and thinking about what her job was, who this 'Ken' guy was, and what the emergency might be. When they noticed that said girl that they had been thinking about was gone, they heard an engine and a small horn beep. They rushed to the window and were even shocked to see a motercycle with a lether clad stranger on it. "No...it can't be. He must be here for someone else." Said a worried Tamaki, thinking of all the horrible outcomes of Haruhi in a motercycle crash.

But to his horror, Haruhi came running out of the front door of the school. She ran a beeline to the man and gave him a long hug before accepting the helmet he offered her and jumping on the back of the neon green flame on black bike. As they drove off the host club turned around to find that Tamaki, had spontaniously combusted. As they gathered the Tamaki bits up and put him back together, the twins asked the obvious question. "...So...who's limo are we taking to follow them?"

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**HAHA! IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, YOU NEED TO WAIT...because i dont want to do another chapter...it's like 12:32 in the morning...bleh.**

**so my idea was originally, just Haruhi and a guy right? but a friend sujested i make her a prostitute. XD I liked the idea, but turned it into her being a bartender at a fancy-ish strip clubby place. **

**TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! R+R PLEASE AND ILL MAKE THE NEXT CHAPTER SOON!**

**1=Adam lambert made a song called "FEVER" and im a massive fan so i thought of the reference and thought i would share! :D  
2= XD XD XD XD XD I used my own name in a stripper name generator and came up with this. i liked it because of the chesty part. Irony right? cause shes FLAT! hee hee!**


	2. Chapter 2

I Have Gotten LOTS of people saying they want me to write another chapter. I feel guilty about not doing so, but SHIT HIT THE FAN IN MY LIFE! you probably dont care, but yeah...

So here is a new chapter! We get to see Haruhi's Work Place!

PS: I changed minor details in the first chapter. not a lot so you need not go back and re-read. but you might notice it makes a little more sence if you do re-read it.

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Back in the club room, the twins had sucsessfully pieced all the little splattered parts of Tamaki back together. And said Tamaki was freaking out. "HARUHI IS PART OF A MOTERCYCLE GANG! WHAT IF THAT WAS HER SECRET LOVER AND! AND HE PLANS ON RUNNING GAWAY WITH HARUHI! AND THEY GO TO CANADA! AND LIVE IN IGLOOS AND EAT RAW FISH FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVE! RAW FISH IS BAD FOR YOU HARUHI! ITS NOT FANCY TUNA HARUHI!" SMACK- was the sound made from Kyoya's hand, as it made contact with the side of Tamaki's Face.

As Tamaki stalled in his rant, he looked at Kyoya. "Why would you hit me mommy?" And then he rushed off to hid in a corrner behind a pillar and proced to make multiple hamster homes. "Because you are being a complete and total ass Tamaki." Kyoya stated with a blank and emotionless face. And then Tamaki paled and fainted, sobbing hard about how his family didn't love him anymore.

As Tamaki tried to gather his wits, the rest of the host club was walking out of the room, Kyoya being the only one with his cell phone out. "Takizawa, Bring the car around to the eastern entrance. Imidiatly, if I'm there before you, consider this your last job with the Ootori family." And then he flipped his phone shut with a forceful SNAP. Ending on that note, the rest of the club noticed how harsh he sounded. He didn't even try to be _slightly_ polite to the family driver. Thats just how on edge Kyoya was. He was not aware Haruhi had a job, and because of that, he had been just as surprised as the rest of the club in the past 15 minuets. He hated being surprised. It made him feel week and stupid.

By now, Tamaki had realised the rest of the club had left him and he struggled to catch up to them. But they had already gotten to the limousine waiting for them, and had piled into it. With Kyoya in such a frazzled state, nobody wanted to say anything. For fear of getting there head bitten off, so no one noticed that a specific blonde prince had been forgotten as they pulled out of the school.

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As Haruhi left the building, she noticed the familiar roar of a bikes engine. This particular purr was music to Haruhi's ears. This meant that Ken was here. He was an old friend of hers, and together, she helped him put together this custom make motorcycle from scrap parts they found. some had to be bought, and she helped him out by giving him some of the little money her father and her had to their name. Of course, he repaid them for every cent they lent and more. But because he wouldn't have been able to have the bike in working order without Haruhi's brains and generosity, when ever she called his name, he would be there in a flash. If she needed a ride, he would be more than glad to be of assistance. Or if she wanted someone to walk her home on a dark night, or just wanted to hang out. He was there for her, just like he knew she would do the same for her.

Although the two were such amazingly close friends, Haruhi was independent. Even if she needed him, she had difficulties in asking for help. And because Haruhi went to Ouran Academy, Ken felt a little weird asking to hang out. He knew she was part of an important club, and he didn't want to take up to much of her spare time. So, the two never did much anymore.

But knowing that Ken was waiting for her made Haruhi's heartbeat speed up. She kept thinking how to two hadn't seen each other in so long.

Rounding the last corner before finding herself in the eastern courtyard, she could see a black leather clad individual on a bike. As she got closer, she thought of how the host club room was to the right, and if they looked her was, they could probably see her right now. Walking towards a biker.

"Oh god, what is Tamaki-sempai thinking right now? Probably ranting how I'm in a gang...Oh mother in heaven, save me." Mumbling her thoughts, she decided to play with Tamaki's fragile mind.

As a spur of the moment idea, Haruhi ran into the open arms of the biker and gave him a fan girl-glomping-bear hug that would for sure leave the entire host club with gaping mouths and eyes as big as dinner plates. Still hugging a chuckling biker, Haruhi waited for a sound she was sure to hear.

And soon enough, there it was. The indistinguishable sound of Tamaki, spontaneously combusting. Knowing it wouldn't take long to piece him together, she took the helmet from Ken's hands, and jumped on the bike behind him. She wanted to get out of here before the host club started following her.

Slightly confused by Haruhi's behavior, but still accepted her more than enthusiastic hug. Ken revved the bike into life and pulled out of the academy. Silently grinning like the Cheshire cat, pleased that he got to hold her in his arms again.

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AND WERE DONE!  
just kidding XP I might upload again today, dunno yet. if i do, it might not be as long as this one. but i make sure every upload is at least 1000 words. and this one is just over that...so it might be longer? or the same amount  
i dont know DX GIVE ME A BREAK!


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